Since: Right Now
Relief for the part of you that doesn’t love small talk.
We took a condition nobody wants to discuss and built the wellness brand it actually deserves. Real actives. Real botanicals. Zero awkward eye contact required.
No Co-Pay
Required
Per Pack
You don’t have to explain it to us. We already know.
Hemorrhoids don’t care about your calendar. Here’s what we hear about most — and what we built to fix each one.
The Itch You Can’t Mention
Alcohol-free botanical wipes with witch hazel, calendula, aloe, and chamomile clean and calm irritated skin — no burning welcome-back sting.
The Burn That Ruins Sitting
Maximum-strength ointment with Lidocaine 5% and Phenylephrine HCl 0.25% numbs pain fast and helps shrink swelling on contact.
The Swelling That Won’t Quit
A mineral sitz soak of Epsom + Dead Sea salts with calendula, comfrey, plantain, yarrow and chamomile — dissolves fast, no added fragrance.
Three products. One very specific mission.
Everything is fragrance-free where it counts, paraben-free everywhere, and formulated by people who clearly thought about this more than is socially normal.
Soothing Botanical Wipes
“Comfort where it counts.”
Plant-based, 100% viscose wipes fortified with 45% alcohol-free witch hazel plus calendula, aloe, chamomile and vitamin E. Biodegradable, non-flushable, and gentle enough for daily use — 45 wipes per pack, so you’re covered for the long haul.
Hemorrhoid Ointment
“Because pain in the butt shouldn’t be a way of life.”
Numbs, shrinks, soothes. Formulated with Lidocaine 5% and Phenylephrine HCl 0.25%, plus witch hazel, aloe and calming botanicals, for fast relief from pain, burning, itching and swelling. Fragrance-free and paraben-free.
Hemorrhoid & Sitz Support Bath Soak
“A sit-down you’ll actually look forward to.”
Fine-grain, fast-dissolving Epsom and Dead Sea salts blended with real calendula, comfrey, plantain, yarrow and chamomile. Soothes irritation, reduces swelling, and supports healing — a favorite for hemorrhoid and postpartum comfort alike. No added fragrance, no mess.
A treatment plan even you can stick to.
No appointments. No paper gowns. Just a simple three-step routine.
Cleanse
Use a Soothing Botanical Wipe after every visit to calm irritation and clean gently — no alcohol, no sting.
Numb & Shrink
Apply the Maximum Strength Ointment for fast, targeted relief from pain, burning and swelling.
Soak & Recover
A few times a week, unwind with the Sitz Support Bath Soak to reduce swelling and support healing overnight.
Real reviews. Real relief. Real specific.
“I was skeptical of a hemorrhoid brand with a sense of humor, but the wipes are genuinely the softest and most soothing I’ve tried.”
“The ointment actually numbs the pain within minutes. Fast acting and doesn’t leave a greasy mess like others I’ve used.”
“The sitz soak smells like nothing — which after postpartum recovery, is exactly the miracle I needed. Real relief, no fuss.”
Real Actives
Clinically recognized ingredients, not vague “proprietary blends.”
Real Botanicals
Witch hazel, calendula, aloe, chamomile — botanicals you can actually see.
Fragrance-Free
Paraben-free and fragrance-free across the line, where it matters most.
Zero Shame
A condition 3 in 4 adults face at some point. We just talk about it out loud.
Your prescription is ready. No pharmacy line required.
Shop the full Dr. Seymour Butts anorectal wellness line, available now on Amazon.
Dr. Seymour Butts
Anorectal wellness, taken seriously — and treated with a straight face and a sense of humor.
Company
A Note From the Doctor
“Dr. Seymour Butts” is a brand persona, not a licensed physician. Nothing on this site is medical advice — please consult an actual doctor for real diagnosis and treatment.
These products are sold as over-the-counter personal care and homeopathic/cosmetic items. The Hemorrhoid Ointment is an OTC drug product (Lidocaine 5%, Phenylephrine HCl 0.25%) for external use only — see product packaging for complete Drug Facts, warnings, and directions for use before use. Statements about the Botanical Wipes and Sitz Support Bath Soak have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration; these products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Individual results may vary. If symptoms persist or worsen, discontinue use and consult a physician.
Dr. Seymour Butts products are available for purchase through our Amazon storefront. Links to Amazon on this page are attribution links; as an Amazon Associate we may earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.